Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


The Best Little Warehouse in Texas

Category: Rated PG-13, Short Snorts

This little gem was submitted by Denny Adams.


Did you hear about the illiterate hooker, who tried to get a job in a warehouse?… Read the rest...

Browser Wars

Category: Rated G

Glenn Gardner sent this one in.


A long time internet friend from the early days was mourning the death of Firefox on her computer and feeling some trepidation about installing and switching over to CHROME.

I advised her:

Erica, you’ll get along just fine with your new found friend if you remember the KISS principle and don’t gussy him up with all the bells & whistles available. I’ve been happily using Chrome since back in its Beta days.

There are

Read the rest...

Ducktor Who?

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

This was found by my dear aunt on Facebook. It’s creator is unknown.


A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” … Read the rest...

Men Have Better Friends

Category: Rated PG

Proof That Men Have Better Friends
This is from Bro. Tom Vickery.


Friendship among Women:
A woman didn’t come home one night.
The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend’s house.
The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn’t come home one night.
The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house.
The … Read the rest...

How to Treat Elves

Category: Poetry, Rated PG-13, Shaggy Dogs

This ancient, shaggy poem is attributed to Morris Bishop, and was submitted to us by Denny Adams.


I met an elf man in the woods,
The wee-est little elf!
Sitting under a mushroom tall–
‘Twas taller than himself!

“How do you do, little elf,” I said,
“And what do you do all day?”
“I dance ‘n fwolic about,” said he,
“‘N scuttle about and play;”

“I s’prise the butterflies, ‘n when
A katydid I see,
‘Katy didn’t’ I say, and … Read the rest...

A Micro Snort

Category: Rated G, Short Snorts

Denny Adams submitted this little gem.


My favorite microwave comfort food is Marconi and cheese.… Read the rest...

Stray Dogs in Massachusetts Have a Boston Flea Party

Category: Picture Pun, Rated G

This little picture pun is making the rounds. Wish I'd seen it in July.
Because Freedom Rings

Nothing to Lose Sleep Over

Category: Picture Pun, Rated G

This picture pun is making the rounds. The original creator is not known.


Insom-nom-nom-nom-nom-niaRead the rest...

Texas Sheriff Exam

Category: Politically Incorrect, Rated PG, Shaggy Puppy

This is from classmate Sonya. It ended up a lot sweeter than I thought it might.


A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6′ 2″, strong as a longhorn and fast as mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.

When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working — in a West Texas Sheriff’s Department.

After a series of … Read the rest...

Math & Science Jokes

Category: Rated NC-17

This collection of math and science jokes was found online. Some may already be on the site, but worth sharing again.

The authors to these are unknown. By anyone, I imagine.


A mathematician walks into a bar and asks for ten times the normal number of drinks anyone else has. “Wow,” says the barkeep, “That’s an order of magnitude.”


An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. … Read the rest...