Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Don’t Shoot! I’m Unarmed!

Category: Puns, Rated G

David Asher submitted this little Halloween story, and I took forever to send it out. Sorry David!


This story developed as I was thinking about Halloween.

Did you know there was a fierce battle right near here (Sierra Vista Arizona) many years ago when the Buffalo soldiers fought against Cochise Indians? And it was Lance Cpl Armstrong that was said that won the battle for the soldiers. You see the soldiers and the Indians saw each other and were getting … Read the rest...

The Best Little Warehouse in Texas

Category: Rated PG-13, Short Snorts

This little gem was submitted by Denny Adams.


Did you hear about the illiterate hooker, who tried to get a job in a warehouse?… Read the rest...

Browser Wars

Category: Rated G

Glenn Gardner sent this one in.


A long time internet friend from the early days was mourning the death of Firefox on her computer and feeling some trepidation about installing and switching over to CHROME.

I advised her:

Erica, you’ll get along just fine with your new found friend if you remember the KISS principle and don’t gussy him up with all the bells & whistles available. I’ve been happily using Chrome since back in its Beta days.

There are

Read the rest...

Ducktor Who?

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

This was found by my dear aunt on Facebook. It’s creator is unknown.


A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” … Read the rest...

Men Have Better Friends

Category: Rated PG

Proof That Men Have Better Friends
This is from Bro. Tom Vickery.


Friendship among Women:
A woman didn’t come home one night.
The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend’s house.
The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn’t come home one night.
The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house.
The … Read the rest...

How to Treat Elves

Category: Poetry, Rated PG-13, Shaggy Dogs

This ancient, shaggy poem is attributed to Morris Bishop, and was submitted to us by Denny Adams.


I met an elf man in the woods,
The wee-est little elf!
Sitting under a mushroom tall–
‘Twas taller than himself!

“How do you do, little elf,” I said,
“And what do you do all day?”
“I dance ‘n fwolic about,” said he,
“‘N scuttle about and play;”

“I s’prise the butterflies, ‘n when
A katydid I see,
‘Katy didn’t’ I say, and … Read the rest...

A Micro Snort

Category: Rated G, Short Snorts

Denny Adams submitted this little gem.


My favorite microwave comfort food is Marconi and cheese.… Read the rest...

Stray Dogs in Massachusetts Have a Boston Flea Party

Category: Picture Pun, Rated G

This little picture pun is making the rounds. Wish I'd seen it in July.
Because Freedom Rings

Nothing to Lose Sleep Over

Category: Picture Pun, Rated G

This picture pun is making the rounds. The original creator is not known.


Insom-nom-nom-nom-nom-niaRead the rest...

Texas Sheriff Exam

Category: Politically Incorrect, Rated PG, Shaggy Puppy

This is from classmate Sonya. It ended up a lot sweeter than I thought it might.


A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6′ 2″, strong as a longhorn and fast as mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.

When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working — in a West Texas Sheriff’s Department.

After a series of … Read the rest...