Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Dublin my Fortune

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

I could have sworn we had a version of this ancient shaggy dog, but I couldn’t find it. So the hat tip goes to Mike Franklin’s submission.


One day, in the midst of the Amazon jungle, an explorer called Carstairs found, on a log, a very small, squishy, red creature with lots of legs. Now, Carstairs had never seen anything like this animal before, and so, taking care in case it was poisonous, he carefully put the creature into a … Read the rest…

A Knight to Remember

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

Another submission from Mike Franklin.

I shall keep this preamble short for I fear that great moments in history should be recalled without recourse to explanation. Relax, dear reader, for the tale I tell is one of mighty deed.

Once, in days of old when knights were bold and rode around the country saving damsels in distress there was a little man. Now I mean little not just small but really really little. He may have been the smallest fully … Read the rest…

Nate Reprised

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

Here’s a truly shaggy version of a classic, submitted by Mike Franklin.


The art of the Shaggy dog was passed to me by my late father so I feel I can appreciate a good one when I see it….. Well I saw it and feel the need to pass it on…. just in case it is not one that I missed whilst working through the offerings here….

With acknowledgement to Exhibit A who posted this elsewhere I bring you … Read the rest…

A Pore Excuse for a Pun

Category: Rated PG, Short Snorts

Here’s a two-fer from Denny Adams.


There is a new mens “personal” deodorant on the market called “Umpire” It’s for foul balls.

Another one inspired by NASCAR is called “Pit Stop”… Read the rest…

Don’t Shoot! I’m Unarmed!

Category: Puns, Rated G

David Asher submitted this little Halloween story, and I took forever to send it out. Sorry David!


This story developed as I was thinking about Halloween.

Did you know there was a fierce battle right near here (Sierra Vista Arizona) many years ago when the Buffalo soldiers fought against Cochise Indians? And it was Lance Cpl Armstrong that was said that won the battle for the soldiers. You see the soldiers and the Indians saw each other and were getting … Read the rest…

The Best Little Warehouse in Texas

Category: Rated PG-13, Short Snorts

This little gem was submitted by Denny Adams.


Did you hear about the illiterate hooker, who tried to get a job in a warehouse?… Read the rest…

Browser Wars

Category: Rated G

Glenn Gardner sent this one in.


A long time internet friend from the early days was mourning the death of Firefox on her computer and feeling some trepidation about installing and switching over to CHROME.

I advised her:

Erica, you’ll get along just fine with your new found friend if you remember the KISS principle and don’t gussy him up with all the bells & whistles available. I’ve been happily using Chrome since back in its Beta days.

There are

Read the rest…

Ducktor Who?

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

This was found by my dear aunt on Facebook. It’s creator is unknown.


A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” … Read the rest…

Men Have Better Friends

Category: Rated PG

Proof That Men Have Better Friends
This is from Bro. Tom Vickery.


Friendship among Women:
A woman didn’t come home one night.
The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend’s house.
The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn’t come home one night.
The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house.
The … Read the rest…

How to Treat Elves

Category: Poetry, Rated PG-13, Shaggy Dogs

This ancient, shaggy poem is attributed to Morris Bishop, and was submitted to us by Denny Adams.


I met an elf man in the woods,
The wee-est little elf!
Sitting under a mushroom tall–
‘Twas taller than himself!

“How do you do, little elf,” I said,
“And what do you do all day?”
“I dance ‘n fwolic about,” said he,
“‘N scuttle about and play;”

“I s’prise the butterflies, ‘n when
A katydid I see,
‘Katy didn’t’ I say, and … Read the rest…