Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Desert Nomads

Category: Rated G

This is a story about certain Arabic desert nomads. These are the Bedouins, and the great hazards that accompany their love lives. In fact, when Bedouins get jilted, they suffer intense heartache.… Read the rest...

Western Motif

Category: Rated G

By Alan B. Combs. Stan Kegel asked me to expand a snippet I wrote many moons ago. Thus, the following.


The wild and wooly west was replete with adventure and potential riches. Magical artifacts were reputed to be abundant and highly sought after. One little town, La Poema, near the Superstition Mountains became famous for a particular enchanted pebble that they made available for viewing in the public library.

The locals particularly appreciated the sight of strangers touching the stone … Read the rest...

Strange Tourist (FEGHOOT VIII)

Category: Original Feghoots, Rated G

This is by Reginald Bretnor writing under the pen name Grendel Briarton.


There was a great deal of ignorant opposition on Earth to Ferdinand Feghoot’s Galactic Concordat of 2133, which made interstellar tourism universally possible.

Fortunately, Feghoot was present when the first tourist landed in Old Sanfran Cisco, right where a new office building was being constructed. The tourist was a striped, felinoid being from a planet called Mrrr-ow; except for his long double tail he looked like an overweight … Read the rest...

Chinese Acrobat

Category: Rated G

Finally for this episode, we must consider the young acrobat who immigrated to this country from on of the Northern provinces in mainland China. He had a very difficult time finding a job because acrobats were in very small demand. He did, finally, find a good job with a traveling circus. He was able to use his acrobatic skills in his act which consisted of being shot from a large gun into a net on the other side of the … Read the rest...

Where Were You?

Category: Rated PG-13

Now that the Ayatollahs run Iran, many of us probably do not remember when the former ruler was the Shah of Iran. The word “Shaw” means King and the word for the First-Born-Male-Prince and Heir-To-The-Throne is “Shan”. The recent Shaw was a very powerful ruler, but there was some question about the Heir’s potential. In fact, the young man was a fine young man in all respects, but one. He was an epileptic and occasionally prone to seizures. This was … Read the rest...

Once Upon a Time

Category: Rated G

The author is unknown, but this story can be widely found all over the internet.


Whince upun a thyme, there was a man who married in his youth the most perfect woman for him. She was beautiful, charming, witty, independent, sexy and she loved her husband dearly. It caused him the utmost grief when she died not long after their marriage, and he mourned her for many years.

In time he overcame his grief and married again, but this woman … Read the rest...

Another Actual Shaggy Dog

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

Finally, there was the three-legged shaggy dog that ambled into the bar one night. The patrons would not have paid much attention, except that the dog had a very serious look on his face and he was armed with a six shooter.

The bartender said, “This is a peaceful establishment. What are you doing in here with that gun?”

The dog replied, “I’m looking for the man that shot my paw!”… Read the rest...

Baseball Story

Category: Rated G

This one is another classic that reverberates on the internet. One version is in Ted Brett’s book, “Don’t Book a Judge by his cover.”


Was he the best pitcher that ever threw a baseball? Back in the 1950s, there were a lot of folks who thought so. Mel Famey of the Milwaukee Braves was a natural — a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon whose fast ball blew away the best hitters. His 90 MPH curveball would start out like it was going to… Read the rest...

Irish Prisoners

Category: Rated G

During World War II, the captured Allied agents of Stalag 15 were attempting yet another daring prison break. On this particular night, Major O’Roarke and Lieutenant Flanagan were chosen to try to cut their way through the bars of the East gate.

They were hard at work when the siren sounded, and the floodlights caught them in the act. As the German officer led them away, O’Roarke said, “We were so careful. How did you ever catch us?”

The German … Read the rest...

Advertisements

Category: Rated G

In Florida, a group had started a con ring that went to old-folks homes and offered trips to the homeland, Ireland. After securing their down payment (usually around a thousand dollars) the con-artists would split. When the scam was discovered, the story ran in the local papers under the headline:

“Tour Allure: A lie”

Read the rest...