Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

His Antsy Friends

Category: Rated G

Understanding this tale by Stan Kegel may depend upon how old you are.

My Uncle Jim did not appear to be much for words. Nor, was he ever seen to have friends or pets. We thought he was the primordial loner, until one time we caught him with his ant farm. He loved the creatures. He knew more about ants than I knew about the streets in our little town, and he loved to talk about them. Indeed, it was … Read the rest...

Nearly a Feghoot

Category: Rated G

This is an old classic in a modernistic guise. I thank the person from alt.humor.puns who sent me the premise to this. The very first Feghoot (No. I) has the same punchline.

The first man to reach Mars had barely crawled out of his spaceship when he was approached by a group of strange-looking creatures. They had faces covered with long green hair with eyes that looked like the headlights of a subway train. “Who are you?”, gasped the astronaut.… Read the rest...

Foolish Bets

Category: Rated G

The local track racing and betting in the local town of Manor has recently fallen upon hard times. It is easy to understand how people might fail to see the foolishness of betting on the ponies, but that shouldn’t be the case with some people. Recently, I saw some real cowgirls at the racetrack, and to my surprise, these people that should know horses were constantly choosing horses that came in last place. No matter what scheme they used, they … Read the rest...


Category: Rated G

This one, related to a current TV advertising cliche, is much newer than many. It already has a life of its own, however.

In a recent NBC poll in which people were asked whether they would prefer to kill a minstrel, or to kill a mime. Nearly 83 percent chose to shoot the minstrel. You see, they all agreed that a mime is a terrible thing to waste.… Read the rest...

Computer Nerds

Category: Rated G

By Alan Combs

Do NOT under any circumstances consider that there is anything autobiographical about this one.

As is the case with Rodney Dangerfield, computer savants don’t get no respect. Personally, we can only bemoan this tragic situation, but sometimes it is deserved when computer nerds get out of their specific areas of expertise. A recent example occurred in a local unnamed department.

One of the department members wanted to place a large graphic into a color presentation. The picture … Read the rest...

Pun in Repetitive Motion

Category: Rated G

The author of this modern tale of woe is not known. The story in various incarnations is all over the internet.

In order to get from Staten Island to the job in Manhattan, a young man started a ridesharing program with a few other Islanders. To get into the city it is necessary to take the Broooklyn Battery Tunnel (BBT) each day. This tunnel is the longest underwater tunnel in the US, but it. is only 2 lanes wide, and … Read the rest...


Category: Adult Theme

Two college women were discussing the date one had had the night before.

“Oh, Nancy, he was sooo erudite, and clever, and sophisticated. He speaks ten languages, drives a Lamborghini, took me to a Parisian restaurant and ordered the meal and wine in French, then took me to his penthouse apartment to look over his Russian book collection by the fireplace.”

“Wow, Gail, he sounds fabulous! But just how far did he get with you?”

“Well, I really can’t say, … Read the rest...

Mixed Drink

Category: Rated G

As is the case herein, many of these tales are very old. Are there any new shaggy dog stories?

A physician made it his regular habit to stop off at a local bar for a hazelnut daiquiri before going home. The bartender knew this, and would always have the drink waiting for him by 5:00 PM. One afternoon as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnuts. Thinking quickly, … Read the rest...

Shaggy Explorers

Category: Rated G

There are numerous versions of this old classic.

Way back in the early days of this country, when men were men and the women were proud, the lure of the untamed West led many to leave all they knew and loved behind, and go toward the setting sun, heading for a new future. As you probably know, the best friend of someone trekking through an unknown and untamed wilderness is a good compass. Alas, even back then, unscrupulous business men … Read the rest...

Short Shaggy

Category: Rated G

For you with children…

A young man visited his friend’s home at dinner time. Upstairs the kids were yelling and screaming. The young man commented “It sounds like a den of iniquity up there.”

Replied the father, “Oh no, that’s just the kids dividing up a pizza. It’s more like a din of inequity.”… Read the rest...