Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Mimetic

Category: Rated G

This one, related to a current TV advertising cliche, is much newer than many. It already has a life of its own, however.


In a recent NBC poll in which people were asked whether they would prefer to kill a minstrel, or to kill a mime. Nearly 83 percent chose to shoot the minstrel. You see, they all agreed that a mime is a terrible thing to waste.… Read the rest...

Computer Nerds

Category: Rated G

By Alan Combs

Do NOT under any circumstances consider that there is anything autobiographical about this one.


As is the case with Rodney Dangerfield, computer savants don’t get no respect. Personally, we can only bemoan this tragic situation, but sometimes it is deserved when computer nerds get out of their specific areas of expertise. A recent example occurred in a local unnamed department.

One of the department members wanted to place a large graphic into a color presentation. The picture … Read the rest...

Pun in Repetitive Motion

Category: Rated G

The author of this modern tale of woe is not known. The story in various incarnations is all over the internet.


In order to get from Staten Island to the job in Manhattan, a young man started a ridesharing program with a few other Islanders. To get into the city it is necessary to take the Broooklyn Battery Tunnel (BBT) each day. This tunnel is the longest underwater tunnel in the US, but it. is only 2 lanes wide, and … Read the rest...

Languages

Category: Adult Theme

Two college women were discussing the date one had had the night before.

“Oh, Nancy, he was sooo erudite, and clever, and sophisticated. He speaks ten languages, drives a Lamborghini, took me to a Parisian restaurant and ordered the meal and wine in French, then took me to his penthouse apartment to look over his Russian book collection by the fireplace.”

“Wow, Gail, he sounds fabulous! But just how far did he get with you?”

“Well, I really can’t say, … Read the rest...

Mixed Drink

Category: Rated G

As is the case herein, many of these tales are very old. Are there any new shaggy dog stories?


A physician made it his regular habit to stop off at a local bar for a hazelnut daiquiri before going home. The bartender knew this, and would always have the drink waiting for him by 5:00 PM. One afternoon as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnuts. Thinking quickly, … Read the rest...

Shaggy Explorers

Category: Rated G

There are numerous versions of this old classic.


Way back in the early days of this country, when men were men and the women were proud, the lure of the untamed West led many to leave all they knew and loved behind, and go toward the setting sun, heading for a new future. As you probably know, the best friend of someone trekking through an unknown and untamed wilderness is a good compass. Alas, even back then, unscrupulous business men … Read the rest...

Short Shaggy

Category: Rated G

For you with children…


A young man visited his friend’s home at dinner time. Upstairs the kids were yelling and screaming. The young man commented “It sounds like a den of iniquity up there.”

Replied the father, “Oh no, that’s just the kids dividing up a pizza. It’s more like a din of inequity.”… Read the rest...

Religious Motif

Category: Rated G

This is another of those old classics that exists in many different versions.


Hard as it might be to believe, Friar James, S.J., was too much of an activist even for the other members of the Jesuit order. And as is frequently the case with such people, Bro. James was sent to the hinterlands to carry out his mission of service.

It turns out, that he was sent to the Land of the Trids, little Hobbit-Like creatures who generally are … Read the rest...

Ma Bell

Category: Cartoon Puns, Rated G

Other versions of this one are more reminiscent of the Billy Goats Gruff.


King John and King Paul had been at war for years, and King Paul was getting tired of it. He decided to make peace between himself and King John. So, he sent his eldest son, his most trusted Prince, to see King John and arrange the peace. Well, the Prince traveled for days and finally arrived at King John’s castle. It was a huge stone fortress, surrounded … Read the rest...

Mighty Hunters

Category: Rated G

Two good Montana buddies were out hunting for a cougar that was killing their sheep. They staked out an area of the woods near their fields, and waited. After a while, sure enough, there came the cougar. They patiently waited until it was close, and then they both jumped up and shot it at the same time. They couldn’t tell whose bullet had taken the cougar’s life!

They decided to share the credit, and also to have the cougar stuffed, … Read the rest...