by Alan B. Combs
I am still recovering from my semester from Hell, but I was not the only one in my family who was busy. My son the webmaster is now doing online advertising for a major purveyor of well-formatted silicon. Over the holidays, he has been putting in long hours slaving away at the new World Wide Web site.
In fact, one might say that for the past several weeks he has been doing nothing but netcerfing.… Read the rest…
This sent to us by Chris Cole who says, “(Courtesy of ‘Uncle Jaybird’s Storytime’, a popular shaggy dog feature doneby a southern California disc jokey on KFI in the late 1960s… sent in by some equally demented listener…)”
In the Alps there was a treacherous mountain which had never been successfully scaled. No one who attempted to reach the summit had ever returned. Only once had a battered and broken climber crawled back into the village at the foot of … Read the rest…
By Gary Hallock
A few years back the U.S. Postal Service issued a series of postage stamps featuring movie stars from Hollywood’s golden age. Thinking they would be valuable someday, I stocked up on a bunch of these and now I’m stuck with way too many of the ones that feature the lovely Miss Loy. In fact, I still have the ream of the 8-cent Myrna.… Read the rest…
Mike Peters, the author of the _Mother Goose and Grim_ cartoon strip should receive punish recognition for his efforts — posted with permission.
A recent strip had Mother Goose reading from the newspaper which described a new, highly advertised dog food with a Star Wars motif. The response from Grimm (the dog) was, “May the horse be with you.”… Read the rest…
Big groan for this one. It was contributed by Beverly McG.
A man walked into a doctor’s office with a troubled look on his face. He sat down and said to the doctor, “Doc, I’ve got a steering wheel stuck on the end of my penis!”
The doctor looked at him with a shocked expression and said, “It must be driving ya nuts!”… Read the rest…
Bryce L. Martin sent the inspiration for this short tale.
The story concerns a butcher who went into a petshop. It seems he fell in love with one the seabirds in the shop. Alas, he had no money to spend, but the shop owner agreed to give him the bird in exchange for some of that delicious German sausage. The deal was made.
It seems he took a tern for the wurst!!
A variant on this pun is in a … Read the rest…
Mitch, that rascal, sent me this. (He is the one to be blamed, not I.)
A preacher was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new, was discussed somewhere in the Bible and that the entirety of the human experience could be found there.
After the service, he was approached by a woman who said, “Preacher, I don’t believe the Bible mentions PMS.” The preacher replied that he was sure it must be there somewhere and … Read the rest…
This is modified from an *old* poem sent to me by Mitch.
There are some happy sciences (pathology, toxicology), but others are not so happy. A case in point concerns embryologists who tend to be a morose and saddened group. No wonder. One of the first things they learn is that our lives are ova before they’ve begun.… Read the rest…
This was the nearly instantaneous response of my Pun Mistress, Scarlet, to a previous story that had the punchline: “Judy’s garland goes somewhere over the brain, Bo!”
BRAVO! BRAVO! Two dozen plus two athletes were lined up to present the garland amidst a crowd of one hundred forty four dour onlookers. The athletes were cheering and laughing, but the onlookers were not so happy. In other words there were only TWENTY-SIX SMILES A GROSS TO SEE.… Read the rest…
This was created by Tom Gunther….
“I’ve been thinking about a remake of The Music Man set in the 90s. The character of Marian Paroo would no longer be a librarian but would be an unfulfilled bikini model in beer ads, a sadder Budweiser girl.”… Read the rest…
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