The International Save the Pun Foundation
January 1, 1998
The nominations for the Ten Best Stressed Puns of 1997 have poured into
the post office box of the ISTPF. They have been tabulated and
counted. Much time has been spent in putting together this most
anticipated list. It is with great excitement that the Chairman of the
Bored Too, Norman Gilbert, announced, for the groaning pleasure of
the members of this, the oldest apocryphal society, the ten puns that
were … Read the rest…
Recently, I do not lack for good and original material for these Thoughts for The Day. Ballinger posted this one, another variant on an old commercial. The author is not known.
Trouser was normally a happy-go-lucky dog. He would chase tennis balls, play with other doggies, and eat his dinner without a fuss. He was a dog without a care. But on that fateful autumn afternoon, it was to be different.
Trouser’s owners were walking him along a trail at … Read the rest…
This was written by Stan Kegel (a name you will get to know), and it was sent to me by BevJoe.
An veterinary orthodontist who practiced in Iowa was called one day by a frantic farmer in Australia. “Help sir!” he cried, “I just got braces and orthodontic equipment for 100 of my sheep, and the local sheep orthodontist just died! I need a responsible animal dentist to come care for my flock!”
The orthodontist was moved, and a good … Read the rest…
This was posted by Firesong in alt.callahans.
There once was a bunch of rather ineffective art thieves, headed by one Enrico W ielf. They had the thief part down pat, they could break into _anywhere_. The tr ouble was, Enrico had very poor taste in art. They would invariably wind up with the most terrible pieces of worthless trash in the collection. It got so the po lice could spot one of their crimes by the uselessness of the stolen … Read the rest…
From a Cartoon in the Daily Texan, as I remember it.
As I have indicated previously, some of the newspaper cartoons are good sources for shaggy dog stories. This particular one had to do with a Wizard who worked in a modern factory. Everything was satisfactory except that certain miscreants took advantage of his good nature, and would steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the following effective sign:
“This parking space belongs to the Wizard. Violators … Read the rest…
This shaggy dog was received from Bill Frank of a nameless government entity. Thanks, Bill.
Anyway, thanks for the shaggy dog site. It helps me forget the tragedy of the loss of my own shaggy dog. He used to chase the cat next door. This was a smart, and malicious cat. The cat would step into my yard, wait until my poor old dog saw him and started to give chase. Then, the cat would spring through a hole in … Read the rest…
From: mbrockmon@navpoint.com
There was once a trolley conductor, honest as the day was long, loyal, faithful and true, who married a young woman whom he truly loved. They lived together in a tiny apartment. They had little in the way of possessions, but a lot in the way of love. One of the things that got in the way of that love was the young bride’s need for material things. The poor man was forced to get a part time … Read the rest…
I received this one from Steve Poge who posts on alt.humor.puns
A man boarded the Metro Bus and was amazed to see a small dwarf seated on a pile of cushions, driving the bus. He was no more than two feet tall. He was wearing a green uniform, and a hat straight out of Robin Hood.
The dwarf stared directly ahead while driving, and kept repeating the same words over and over….. “tick-tock….tick-tock…tick-tock…” The man asked the person sitting next … Read the rest…
This was posted on alt.callahans by Quiet Don. It is to be found on humor sites all over the internet. The original author is unknown. (May the farce be with you.)
Quiet Don steps from the Shadows, a twinkle in his eye, and says, “I don’t know where I heard this last, (parts were in one of the Callahan books), but here goes.”
It was a hot summer’s day, and Luke was in the marina, having a few beers aboard … Read the rest…
By Stan Kegel.
They were the first to attempt to colonize Mars. They had landed with grass seeds to plant and horse, sheep and cattle embryos. But, the grass wouldn’t grow and none of the calves could survive. The horses and sheep were doing well, but there was not enough fodder to meet their needs. So they sent a message to earth asking for more sheep and horses and a replacement for the cattle and grass. They particularly wanted an … Read the rest…
Subscribe