This shaggy tale was from Michael Brimberry; worth *passing* on.
The Indian replied, “Many moons.”… Read the rest…
This was submitted by Seth Cohen, a student at one of the *other* colleges of Pharmacy.
The Local AM Radio station here ran a story this morning about a research project that is involved in feeding Prozac to clams.
I called the station to ask where this study was being conducted, and they said it’s in Gettysburg, PA.
I then said to the DJ, “I didn’t know Prozac was a mussel relaxant.”
I heard him sputter coffee right before he … Read the rest…
This was sent to Brian by Wesley E. Munsil. It is modern, to be sure, but has the authentic flavor of an original Feghoot. Thanks, Wesley.
By the final years of the twenty-first century, a retro-fascination with mid-twentieth-century pop culture icons had catapulted the one-time game show host, newsman, and all-around general-purpose celebrity Hugh Downs into international, if decidedly posthumous, superstardom. Hardly any teenagers in America — to say nothing of Europe, the Middle East, and the developing countries in … Read the rest…
This was posted by TheDeacon (aka Eric Loy) on alt.callahans.
Did you see the special on the Discovery channel last week about Magellan’s round the world voyage? They went on and on, telling how tough it was for him to gather the equipment and the people for such a commitment. It didn’t help things that he was such a stickler for rules, either.
Only certain colored clothing was allowed on the ship. The sailors were forbidden to sing songs with … Read the rest…
This was posted by Sam Voeller on alt.callahans. The author is unknown.
To begin this story, we must imagine an English castle under siege by a large part of the French Army. Not only was the castle under siege, but large scaling ladders were being built in full sight of the defenders. It did look bleak for the good guys.
In the nick of time, one of the defenders, Sir Bedevere, offered to bring in a large family of jokesters … Read the rest…
This verson of a venerable tale is by Stan Kegel.
Anaheim Mighty Duck superstar, Teemu Selanne, had never had his father see him play professional hockey. He was thrilled to have his father visit him recently to watch him play. In honor of the occasion, his good friend, Mikkail Shtalenkov, arranged a special banquet at the renouned local Scandinavian restaurant, Gustav Anders, where noted chef, Anders Strandberg, prepared a gourmet dinner of the Selanne’s favorite Finnish dishes. In addition to … Read the rest…
Ron Koolman posted this on alt.callahans. Chris Cole indicates that it may originally have been an Asimov pun.
In 2916, after a captivity of 22 years, Ferdinand Feghoot escaped from the planet Aah-ook. As soon as he landed on Earth, hundreds of reporters surrounded him and began asking questions, which he answered with his usual directness:
“The Aah-ookians are highly intelligent dragonoid beings upwards of 800 yards long. I was taken by one called Urk-tss. He was so old that … Read the rest…
Yeah, you can blame me for this one (by Alan B. Combs).
Generally, a bartender’s life is a happy one. People pay top dollar for the unique services they bring, and by far, the result is an increase in joy. The most joyous occasions are those in which the bartender joins the patrons in a libation and buys a round for the house. That is when our benefactor finds friends galore, all of whom are hoping to share in the … Read the rest…
This gem was posted by Liquor on alt.callahans. Very nice work. If you haven’t noticed it before, Liquor sprinkles puns throughout his stories.
Liquor is back at the bar, waiting for the folx to cover their ears or prepare to hold their noses, as appropriate. He takes a sip of his nero, and starts.
I am sure that all of you have, at some time or another, heard of the fictional persona of A.C. (Doyle, that is) who was the … Read the rest…
Falling church attendance has been a problem for some time now. Along this line, did you hear about the latest thing for people who attend church? In order to keep up with the times, churches are now offering fitness clubs to their parishioners.
They’re calling it the God and Run Club.… Read the rest…
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