Chris Cole remembers seeing/hearing this little gem in an old Danny Kaye movie, which was probably made in the 1940′s (black & white film). This bilingual pun was sent to Brian by Lorraine Jacques (lorraine_jacques@hotmail.com). Mercy, mercy! Himie Koshevoy has a version of this story in his “Treasure Jest of Best Puns.”
Young Marie was excited. She was going to visit her cousin Madeline in France. She was going to stay an entire summer and she was excited about meeting … Read the rest…
by Alan B. Combs
A psychologist friend has altogether too many patients with bizarre phobias with whom she must deal. One patient has an abnormal, paralizing fear of spiders. Another, is reluctant to go out at night, another to go out during the day. Several are afraid to walk on sidewalks because of the potential injury to their mothers’ backs. One patient is desperately afraid to spend money. Another is worried about getting disease from the germs on paper money. … Read the rest…
This was sent by BevJoe from Adrian Gilbert’s jokeserv.
There is this man is in the supermarket, keeping a mental record of how much he’ll spend when he gets to the cash register. “That’s two dollars and a cat… Five dollars, fifty cents, and a cat… Nine dollars and a cat… Thirteen dollars, sixty five cents, and a cat…”
A fellow shopper asked him, “Why do you keep saying, ‘and a cat?’”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the fellow said. “I’ve got … Read the rest…
This is embellished from a one-liner from Mike Brimberry.
Technical/engineering schools such as MIT and Cal Poly pride themselves on their excellence in teaching mathematical skills. They only got in trouble once in a beginning calculus course in which there was a Friday night exam. It seems that many of the students thought they knew the material so well that they drank beer all afternoon before the exam. By the bad grades on their exams, they learned that alcohol and … Read the rest…
(By John F. Moore based on a character by Grendel Briarton)
In the 28th Century, Ferdinand Feghoot always took passage on spaceships from Argol. Their discipline was rigidly based on Terran naval tradition. Indeed, Argolian law compelled every cartain, on assuming command, to identify himself withe some sea-going hero of Earth, actual or legendary. One wore an eye-patch, another a false wooden leg; some carried harpoons, spyglasses or belaying pins; they wore pea-jackets or gold-braided coats, and uttered such phrases … Read the rest…
BevJoe sent me this which originated from Adrian Gilbert’s joke listserv.
I have this friend who always seemed to lean slightly to the left all the time. It used to bother me, so I suggested he see a doctor, and have his legs checked out. For years, he refused… told me I was crazy. But last week, he finally went, and sure enough, the doctor discovered his left leg was 1/4″ shorter than his right. A quick bit of orthopedic … Read the rest…
This story is by Reginald Bretnor using the pen name Grendel Briarton.
Ferdinand Feghoot explored the system of the star y-Turista during the Third Franco-Mexican Empire. The expedition was sponsored by His Cosmic Majesty, Maximillano Ixthuatl XXII, who decreed patriotically that only Mexican food might be served aboard ship.
In 3002, Feghoot returned, and was ushered directly into the Presence. “What did you find?” asked the Emperor.
“Sire,” replied Feghoot, “Most marvelous of all are our Ixixixangos.” He pointed to … Read the rest…
This anachronistic little gem was submitted by Jim Macaulay. If you are just too young to get the reference, “Nyaa, nyaa, nyaa!”… Read the rest…
By Dan Dutcher with a response by Alan B. Combs
Dan Dutcher swears that he was taking a nap on a flight from Hawaii to the mainland, when he awoke and said to his companion, “I just dreamt a pun.” He then took out a sheet of paper and wrote this story.
Shortly after Sonny Bono’s untimely demise, I was having a drink with my friend, Harry, a highly respected superior court judge. He mentioned that his father had been … Read the rest…
Subscribe