This came to me while I was waiting for her to do her shopping. By Alan B. Combs… Read the rest…
These puns are stolen from various spots all over the internet. Most of them are older than the internet itself.
The compilation is mine…
They say all are welcome to worship, but even the Catholic Church has to have some standards. One Sunday morning, Father Bohr was having a hard time keeping undesirables out.
First was Dr. Schrodinger and his cat. The priest said, “You can’t bring that cat in here. It looks half dead!”
An electron, a proton and … Read the rest…
These words of wisdom come from Bill Pardue.… Read the rest…
This was published by Stan Kegel on puns@yahoo.com. It is an excellent companion piece to “The Craziest Language” and “Why is English the Lingua Franca? (aka English is Tough Stuff)”, both of which are in this collection.
So, you think English is easy, huh? Read out loud to the end and see if you still think so.
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that … Read the rest…
This was forwarded by Ms. Scarlett.
Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, ‘I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.’
The other woman responds proudly, ‘Yes, sure an’ I am!”
The first one says, ‘So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?’
The other woman answers, ‘I’m from Dublin, I am.’
The first one responds, ‘So am … Read the rest…
Anna Welander posted this on puns@yahoogroups.com.
Here are some more humorous t-shirts to wear around town.
Put one on and see how many laughs you get:
* Here I am! Now What are Your Other Two Wishes?
* I Recycle. I Wore this Shirt Yesterday.
* I’m Good in Bed. I can sleep for Days!
* Also Available in Sober.
* Voted Class of 2057′s Most Likely to Travel Back in Time.
* I’m like a Museum – Look But … Read the rest…
Stan Kegel sent this seasonal contribution.
The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air;
It knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.
It ricocheted into a corner
and burst with a deafening boom;
Then splattered all over the kitchen
completely obscuring the room.
It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor;
There was turkey attached to the ceiling
where there’d never been turkey before.
It blanketed every … Read the rest…
This was forwarded by Bro. Tom Vickery. It is not too new, but certainly deserves to be added to the collection. Thanks, Tom.
Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if … Read the rest…
Mitch sent us this warning.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her natural beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just … Read the rest…
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