This was sent by high school friend, Don Drinnon.
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica – where do they go ?
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with … Read the rest…
From Paul DeAnguera.
The unexpected American counter-attack had devastated the British champion. Gasping and bleeding from the ears, the stupefied First Mate shook his head helplessly when urged to retake the stage. “Pull down your union jack, then,” Captain Blight ordered, “And form a line by the starboard rail, prisoners of war!”
“Wait!” called a voice, and a distinguished looking Chinese man in an embroidered red silk robe stepped onto the main hatch cover. It was Wang Mang, able seaman … Read the rest…
From the groaners listserv.
In the late 1800s, not wanting to be outdone by American rodeo, an English chap decided to become a rodeo star. Not having a horse or any cattle, he cast about for some way to perform. His vocation was building outhouses, and he had several samples behind his home. He had also installed a couple of standing gas lamps in his yard. As a start, he decided that lassoing these objects would be good practice. After … Read the rest…
by Alan B. Combs… Read the rest…
Mitch Friedman sent this to me. For reasons that are not entirely clear, he said this is my kind of material.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty … Read the rest…
Irregular Webcomic! is by David Morgan-Mar. Occasionally, he includes wonderful puns. This one was originally published on December 31, 2010.
This work is copyrighted and is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 Unported Licence by David Morgan-Mar.… Read the rest…
The continuation of Paul DeAnguera’s epic.
For a while it looked as if the British champion had won the day. But at length Hugo Phirst staggered up from his circle of Yankee handlers. Waving away any further assistance, he walked unsteadily across the H.M.S. Legume’s main deck to the hatch cover and stepped up onto it to deliver the American reply to the First Mate’s attack:
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There was a Beggar in the company
That Geoffrey never spoke of; nor … Read the rest…
Posted by Stan Kegel on the groaners listserv.
Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan , or the dawn of Camelot.
There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,
For Ike was in the White House in that land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.
We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn,
We spread … Read the rest…
More from Paul DeAnguera.
The combined crews of the H.M.S. Legume and the U.S.S. Groundpea thought their dueling champions had done each other about equal damage so far. But now the First Mate stepped up on the main hatch cover to unleash one of his deadliest rounds:
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Once upon a time there lived a girl whose powers of speech were legendary. She could win any argument, any debate, and any election with a speech that was masterful and compelling, … Read the rest…
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