This is from cousin Jo Ann Thomas.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here’s how it all went.
My engaged … Read the rest…
This was posted on the groaners listserv
The story starts with a young lady whose primary occupation was brewing and distributing ‘shine. One day, as she transported her product to the black market, she had truck trouble and had to stop by the side of the road. A young man named Tommy was passing by and stopped to help her.
He was unaware of her illegal activities and remained … Read the rest…
The epic conclusion of Paul DeAnguera’s punishing tale.
As the H.M.S. Legume plowed across the Atlantic rollers, Captain Quid worked feverishly at the chart pinned to his star board. He took a sighting with his sextant, and marked an X on his chart. With a grimace, he reached for a secondary sextant; same thing. But the wizened old sea captain did not give up so easily. He grabbed another sextant, and kept at it until he got a “Maximum of … Read the rest…
Posted on the groaners listserv by Stan Kegel.
Herman was afflicted with an explosive personality that caused him more and more problems at home and on the job. Finally, his distressed family persuaded him to enter an anger-management course.
Herman’s therapy included an alarm clock on his bedroom table that was tuned in to his brain by electronic pulses. Every time Herman flew into a tantrum, the clock would explode into a loud and irritating ring that wouldn‚t stop until … Read the rest…
Our next chapter in the War Between the Sexes was sent by Shayne Gad.
NICKNAMES
> If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
> If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT
> When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them … Read the rest…
From bwJokes.com.
Terrorist Plots Discovered and Thwarted (0)
Transvestites (133)
Hernias (1,485)
Cases of Hemorrhoids (3,172)
Enlarged Prostates (8,249)
Breast Implants (59,350)
Natural Blondes (3)
Paul DeAnguera’s epic puns continue.
Tenderly, with every respect due to great warriors from greater, the crew of the H.M.S. Legume conveyed defeated punster Hugo Phirst and the other Americans back across the Chesapeake to the U.S.S. Groundpea. “Shock and bleeding at the ears,” Emma Talligeist advised the American ship’s doctor. “Also several concussions from smacking their own foreheads.” They made the invalids as comfortable as they could. Then Emma returned and the Legume aimed its bowsprit toward the Atlantic. … Read the rest…
This chapter in the War Between the Sexes came from the groanerslistserv.
1.) FINE:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) FIVE MINUTES:
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) NOTHING:
This is the calm before the
This rude little tale was published on the groaners listserv a few years ago.
A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. One day she overheard the remaining three talking about their golf round in the … Read the rest…
This was posted by Anna Welander on puns@yahoogroups.com.
Two rabbinical students were caught by the Rabbi gambling and drinking in the company of undesirable characters before the sun set on the evening of the Sabbath. The Rabbi called them into his study the next day.
Both confessed to having given in to weakness, and admitted that they deserved punishment. The Rabbi thought and then went into his kitchen and brought back two bags of dried peas.
“Put these in your … Read the rest…
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