Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Oven Wars – Part IV – A New Hob

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Rated G

This was published on the groaners listserv. The author is not known.


A long time ago, in a kitchen far, far, away…

It is a time of turmoil. The Microwave Empire, led by the evil Dark Chocolate, captures Princess Ladle, leader of the Dinner-Party alliance, and imprisons her in the Death-Fridge.

Luke Warmwater is bored with his humdrum life on the planet TableTop. He happens to meet an old friend of his father’s, Mouldy-Old Banoffee, who turns out to be one of the last of the Jelly masters. Together they embark on a milk-curdling adventure.

Pan Solo is on the run from Pizza the Hut. Pan and his long-time frying companion Chewy, the big furry Cookie, agree to take Luke and Mouldy-Old Banoffee off the planet.

When Luke mentions the kitchen floor is looking a bit dirty, there suddenly appears: * Flash! A-ah! Cleaner of the universe! * Flash soon leaves on being told he is in the wrong movie.

Together, our heroes manage to penetrate the magnetic-field defenses of the Death-Fridge’s main door and rescue the Princess. They narrowly escape with their lives, except for Mouldy-Old Banoffee who is chopped down by Dark Chocolate.

Luke helps the alliance destroy the Death-Fridge by remembering the words of Mouldy-Old Banoffee: “Use the Sauce, Luke. Use the Sauce.”

Coming soon…

Oven Wars – Part V – The Microwave Strikes Back

Luke seeks guidance from the old, wise, and increasingly smelly Yoghurt who trains him in the ways of the Sauce.

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