Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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One Wish

Category: P.U.N.Y. listserv, Rated G

This is by Bob Dvorak and came via the PUNY listserv.


Sergei was a peasant in the old Russian Empire. Life was hard. He had food; he had a family. But the toil required to keep his family fed and warm was taking its toll on his health.

While hoeing his field one day he came upon a bottle. On opening it, he was confronted by the proverbial genie, who granted him one wish.

Unable to think very far, he believed that he was too small a person — that, if he were bigger, he could work harder and amass enough to last him for awhile. He thus asked that the genie make him fifty feet tall for a period of one month.

Unfortunately he had not accounted for the additional food requirement, and suddenly found that as fast as he produced at an improved rate, he just as quickly consumed the extra production.

On the last day, perceiving that his gift from the genie had gained him nothing, he strode off to the capital. On the way, he encountered none other than the royal entourage.

He quickly pinned the emperor’s carriage beneath his foot, and removed the trunk of gold coins from within. Off he bounded to his home — and when he awoke the next morning, he had been returned to his normal size.

But he had money well beyond his needs. He and his family lived comfortably ever after.

Which proves that:

When you Squish upon a Tsar, Your Dreams Come True.

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