Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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One that got away…

Category: Puns, Rated G

A fish tail by Bob Dvorak.


With a brash combination of selective breeding and genetic modification, Earl had managed to produce herring that grew about twenty percent faster, and equally larger, than the natural fish.

Eager to cash in on his labors, he synopsized his four years of work and submitted it to a scholarly journal. The peer review process was both quick and deadly.

“Insufficient records.” “Lack of controls.” “Insufficient data.” “Consistently unreproduceable results.” “Insufficient sample size.” On and on. In short, the consensus weighed in heavily against his superficial research.

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  1. The only appropriate response would be to respond with your best Eddie Cantor impersonation: “If you knew sushi, like I know sushi…”

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