Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


One Good Urn Deserves Another

Category: Rated G

Another original synaptic surprise from Chris Cole.


Once upon a time three adult siblings all perished in a terrible car wreck. They were loved by all and the local townsfolks often referred to them by their nicknames. First, there was Florence, whose penchant for “foo-foo” kinds of decorations earned her “Foo”. Then there was Sutton, whose winsome, informal personality had folks fondly calling “Sutt”. Finally, there was their avid bird-watcher sibling who left to make an immense fortune in the spud business, naturally receiving the nickname “Idaho”.

A huge crowd of mourners solemnly accompanied the funeral procession from the crematorium to the cemetery. Once there, the containers of the dearly departed were displayed so people could pay their final respects. One container was placed on top of the hearse, one on a wagon towed behind it, and the third on the ground in front of them.

A picture in the local newspaper later chronicled the event with the following caption:

Foo’s on hearse. Sutt’s on wagon. Idaho — Bird Vase.

(with respectful apologies to Bud Abbot and Lou Costello)

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