This tale is by Bob Dvorak.

I was born on a tuffet in the middle of a Southland swamp. It’s home. I spent most of my youth fighting one sort of rash or another — be it the chiggers, the mosquitoes, or the poison ivy, and whatever else was in the bayou that made me itch.

I went away to Chicago to make my fortune. But Chicago ain’t home, and I spend a lot of time looking forward to going back to Lousiana and That Old Calomine.

Lowrie Beacham says Bob started from scratch on this one.