Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Off The Beaten Drac….

Category: P.U.N.Y. listserv, Puns, Rated G

We have in no manner run out of these daily Halloween stories. That leaves some for next year. This particular tale is by Bob Dvorak and was posted to P.U.N.Y.


Dracula was walking down the street in mufti. He paused in front of a jewelry shop and was admiring a bracelet with some particularly marvelous blood-red stones when a young woman approached with the similar idea of browsing expensive baubles.

As she studied an opal pendant she heard a somewhat faint “Aghaaaaagh…” And over the next twenty or thirty seconds she heard the same noise repeated at regular intervals. She cast a sidelong glance at the man, who at the moment looked like any ordinary gentleman (although the sunglasses, oversize hat, and lambskin gloves might have been a giveaway).

Since it appeared doubtful that he was the source of the somewhat fear-inducing noise, she asked, “Did you hear that?”

“Hear what, Ma’am?”

“That raspy breathing sound. It repeats every two or three seconds. Maybe they have a speaker hidden in the window for the holiday.”

“No, Ma’am. It’s my guardian. Except that I don’t get an angel — I don’t quite qualify. What I did get — Gasper, the Friendly Ghost.”

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