Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

Off-Duty Date

Category: Rated G

This is by Clynch Varnadore of PUNY.

When the cop was off duty, he often hung around bars in the seedier parts of town, listening to rumors and trying to get a sense of what was going on. One evening a quite stunningly beautiful lady walked in and ordered a drink. The cop watched her, fascinated that such a comely, well dressed woman would be in a dive like this. She seemed to notice his stare; she turned and came over to where he sat.

“Can I buy you a drink?” she asked, her azure gaze holding his eyes as though he were hypnotized.

“S-s-s-sure!” he stammered, not believing his luck. She was gorgeous!

Just then the bartender snorted, “Hey, buddy, that’s no lady!” and laughed out loud.

“What?!?” the cop asked, confused.

“Like I said. That’s no lady. He’s not a woman, either!” the bartender said.

The cop’s face turned a deep red as his anger rose. “Why, you…I oughta run you in!” he growled at the “lady”.

“For what?” he/she answered, “I haven’t done anything illegal, have I?”

“For male fraud!” was the cop’s reply.

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