Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Oceanic Shaggy

Category: Politically Incorrect

The author of this story is Lee Jackson.


This is the story about a guy who loved to fish off the shores of the Gulf of Mexico near Galveston. He ran a gas station during the day and went surf fishing in the afternoon. As much as he loved surf fishing, he had one disadvantage: he could not cast more than 10 yards to save his life. Nothing he tried worked.

One day, after a particularly bad afternoon of short throws, he came to the end of the line and vowed to give up surf fishing. However, in the midst of his despair, he saw a vision on the, by now, deserted beach. Out of the Gulf depths and through the surf came an old woman carrying a load of heavy surf tackle directly toward him. She spoke to him in a rough yet kind voice, saying, “I have watched you for weeks now, and I am here to help. Let me teach you my way, and you will never again leave this beach frustrated.”

He was stunnedby this strange situation, but he agreed. The old woman stayed with him until moonrise, teaching him her techniques. At the end of the lesson, she wished him luck and returned to the sea through the surf, never to be seen again.

The man decided to try his new skills out at first light on the next morning. When he woke, he gathered his gear and went to his gas station. Instead of opening for business, he hung a sign on the door which read:

“This station is conducting a test of the Emerging Sea Broad-Casting System.”

Copyright (c)1994 Lee Jackson. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.

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