This is by Charlotte Herzele. Very nice variant of one of her earlier ones.

Alfred Lord Tennyson was an avid soccer player. When the first world championship soccer matches were played between Argentina and Britain, dear Alfred was right in the fray. Juan Valdez, on leave from his coffee duties, dribbled the ball more successfully than any other player on the team. The captain of the Brits, charged Alfie with incapacitating Sr. Valdez. Whenever Alfie showed any reluctance, the captain admonished him,”Tennyson, knee Juan!”