Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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More on End O’ Crow Knolegy

Category: Gaggle of Groaners listserv, Gatling Puns, Rated G

This was sent by Marsha Coleman to the groaners list serve. She tells us it is by Ann Onimus. A useful term originated by Bob Dvorak for these rapid-fire stories is Gatling Puns.


And I bet the professor made them read the text on end o crow knowledgy written by the brilliant Italian, Dr. ALDO STERONE. That is, unless the tome had been SECRETED away by order of the school administration, as the number one item on an INTERNAL LIST. It takes a lot of GALL to indulge in that kind of censorship, unless there was a general consensus or BILE LATERAL agreement to do so. I understand as a reward for his agreement, the professor was given an all-expense paid trip to the ISLETS OF LANGERHANS, the famous resort off the YEAST coast of In – GLAND. It’s true – I would never KIDNEY about something like that. Well, in the words of Mr. Spock, “LIVER ONG and PROSPER”. You want more? I could go on all day, but I hate to see a GROAN woman start to SWEAT and burst into TEARS. Signed, PERRY STALL’S SIS – sibling of the Shit Fairy, and BILLY RUBIN, his color commentator.

It’s O. K. to post as long as this correspondent remains an Onimus – not that I’d bear you any musity if you snitched. But punning is an anal-retentive compulsive disorder with overtones of multiple personality traits and hallucinations. I haven’t developed that yet, thank God! And so that I don’t, I vow never to make another pun. By the way, have you seen the new Irish comedy troupe? They do a hilarious series of sketches about an IRA Provo named Nicholas Leary, and his friends’ bumbling attempts to help him escape from a British prison. He’s been held in solitary confinement for so long that he’s gone bonkers, talking to himself and answering in tongues, seeing visions of the Virgin Mary drinking beer with the Pope etc. The Troupe calls their routine Skits O’ free Nick.

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