Minnesotans in Hell

Bob Levi sends us this tale of hope and optimism.

Two guys from International Falls die and wake up in hell. The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats warming themselves around the fire.

The devil asks them, “What are you doing? Isn’t it hot enough for you?”

The two guys reply, “Vell, ya know, ve’re from nordern Minnesota, the land of snow and ice and cold. Ve’re just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, ya know.”

The devil decides that these two aren’t miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, hats and mittens. The devil asks them again, “Its awfully hot down here, can’t you guys feel that?”

Again the two guys reply, “Vell, like we told you yesterday, ve’re from nordern Minnesota, the land of snow and ice and cold. Ve’re just happy to be here and have a chance to warm up a little bit, ya know.”

This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming every where. He stops by the room with the two guys from Minnesota and finds dressed as they were before and sitting by the fire and seeming to have a good time.

The devil is astonished, “Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourself.”

The two Minnesotans reply, “Vell, ya know, ve don’t get too much warm veather up dere in International Falls, we’ve just got to have a fish fry when the veather’s this nice.”

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging every where, people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan and gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Minnesotans. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber, hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad.

The devil is dumb founded, “I don’t understand, when I turn up the heat you’re happy. Now its freezing cold and you’re still happy. What is wrong with you two?”

The Minnesotans look at the devil in surprise, “Vell, don’t ya know, If hell froze over dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl.”

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