Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Middle Eastern Food in San Francisco

Category: Adult Theme

By Alan B. Combs, John Barnstead, and rosecatt.


A Persian family escaped the persecutions in Iran and emigrated to San Francisco. The one thing the family knew best was the restaurant business. They decided to open a restaurant featuring Middle-Eastern cuisine. Now, the restaurant was located in one of those parts of San Francisco not well known for its hetero clientele. Wanting to indicate a willingness to serve these customers, but not wanting to alienate others, they decided to put on the menu a subtle indicator of their willingness to serve anyone at their establishment.

Featured on the menu was the finest lamb Swish Kabob.


Shortly after I had posted this story on alt.callahans, John Barnstead came back with the following topper.


“One wonders,” remarks Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat from atop the pile of ham sandwiches comprising the Free Lunch, “why they felt obliged to be so *obvious* in their quite laudable attempt to be hospitable. I mean, since *many* of the dishes on their menu might require elucidation of one sort or another, why not simply add to the bottom of each page the following sentence? —

We are more than happy to entertain all queries…”


The following day, Rosecatt added the following to the story of the restaurant.


“As it happens, I recently had the pleasure of visiting the very restaurant you mentioned in your story! The menu was charming, and included choices from many different cuisines.

“For example, I noticed ‘Pansy-Fried Steak’ as one of the entrees under the heading ‘American Farey’. Also listed was the Persion version of Moo Goo Gay Pan.

“For dessert I was torn between several choices. I almost went with the Cream Puff but finally decided on the Bananas Flambe’.

“This restaurant impressed me so much that since then everywhere else I eat is SUCH a drag, tch!”

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