Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Mercy, Mercy

Category: Rated G

The following version of this *OLD* pun was recently posted by Steve Poge. Many variants exist, including one written by Donald Honig in “Bred any Good Rooks Lately?”. Ted Brett also has a version in his book.


A man had been feeling really bad for about 3 weeks, so he went to see his doctor. The doctor said, “Look, I don’t know what you’ve got, but it could be serious, so why don’t you go to this specialist I know.” So the man went to the specialist and the specialist said, “Look you have a very rare sickness, only one person every ten years gets it! The only cure is made in Australia in a little town called Mercy, about 400 miles from Sidney. And by the way, you have only one week to live.”

So the man took the first flight he could to Sidney, rented a car, and drove to Mercy, Australia. When he got there he found it was one of those towns with a population of one. The man walked up to the house in the village, and an old doctor answered the door.

“You have to help me!”, said the man, “I’m dying of this rare illness and I only have four days left to live”

So the old man invited him in. “I must give you my special Koala bear Tea. It is the only thing on Earth that can cure you.”

So the old man went out to get the ingredients. One koala, a few birds and such. He boiled them together and gave them to the man with bones, feathers and dirt sticking out of the drink. The man looked at it, repulsed, and asked if the tea could be filtered to remove the lumps.

The old doctor looked horrified and said, “My dear Sir, the Koala Tea of Mercy is not strained!!!”

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