Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Medical Breakthrough or Punishment?

Category: Rated G

This particular story is found all over the internet.


The Institute of Paranomasial Research announced today that they have isolated the cause of Severe Paranormasia. Paranomasia, the often debilitating condition which causes unusual misuse of the English language, is found in less than 1% of the population.

An Institute spokesman stated, “We have long sought the cause of this propensity to producing a prolific plethora of puns. Paranomasia is caused by the newly discovered hormone Punosterone. Punosterone is secreted by two small, previously undiscovered glands, which are located at the lower end of the humerus in the area commonly known as the funny bone.”

The glands have been named GROANADS.

Doctors are now searching for a way to disable these glands and render the condition impotent.


As is often the case, there were responses to this tall tale.

Dick Ford tells us:
There’s a vas deferens between the gronads and the pundental nerve. A small portion of the 1% of tho population who are paranomasiacs receive payment; they’ve reached the pro-state, …at least until they get the sac. If a doctor tried to remove or isolate the gronads, he would have to take care not to harm any other glans nearby.

And, Michael Heiman tells us:
I suggest the doctors should cut the pundental nerve which stimulates the gronads. The alternative of slitting the jocular vein is not too sanguine an action for all the phlobotomites batting around the Institute.

« Previous post
Next post »

Leave a Reply