Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Math Lesson I

Category: Puns, Rated PG-13, Shaggy Puppy

This has been kicking around the internet for a while. I thank Mel Lett for this version.


From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. And, how about achieving 103%?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions.

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26,

then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% and, K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%.

But, A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% And, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = 21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%.

Now, look how far ass-kissing will take you:

A-S-S–K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, bullshit and ass-kissing will put you over the top!

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