Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Marcel at the Shaggy Gallows

Category: Rated G

This was posted by Lee Jackson.


If you’ve ever been to California, especially the Los Angeles area, you know that there are a lot of strange companies doing business out there. Some of the strangest are the “agencies” that cater to celebrities. Places that will, for a fee, analyze your best colors, surroundings, wardrobe, you name it.

A bit up the road, the Gallo winery was looking for something for their employees to do in the off-season. Most of the employees had highly trained noses, due to their experience in the winery and with wines. So, the Gallo brothers took the incentive and opened up their own agency in Beverly Hills. For a fee, of course, you could come in and be “sniffed” by these trained noses. Afterwards, they would analyze your best scents for perfume, flowers, incense, and so on.

Well, Marcel Marceau read about this in his Sunday paper, and he decided that this was just the thing he’d been looking for. So, he called the agency and set up an appointment for the coming Friday at 3:00pm.

Thursday came, and by this time Marcel was really excited about his upcoming appointment. He was at home, thinking about how he should prepare for his “sniffing,” when the phone rang: it was his agent. Marcel had to be at an emergency benefit performance for natural disaster victims in Australia. He had to be on the plane to Sydney at 3:00pm on Friday.

Marcel was crestfallen. He was so much looking forward to his appointment, and now he would have to miss it. Suddenly, he got an idea: “I’ll call them. I’ll try to move the appointment up a few hours.”

So, he called the agency and pleaded with the receptionist to please, PLEASE, let him come in a few hours early for his “sniffing.” The receptionist, in her best Beverly Hills attitude, practically glared him down through the phone line, saying:

“Monsieur Marceau! We will smell no mime before it’s time!”

Copyright (c)1994 Lee Jackson. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.

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