Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Madonna in White

Category: Rated G

By Alan B. Combs


Christina, a most beautiful child, was born an albino. As an adult, she was even more spectacular. The effect was most intriguing, silver-white skin, almost argent in its nature. Everyone loved her — except for Ronald, who, we must confess had a deep streak of prejudice against the extraordinary. And, as it always happens, she fell deeply, madly in love with Ronald.

Against the advice of all those who had her best interests at heart, Tina decided to try tanning as a method to darken her silver skin. She was warned about the dangers, especially the long-term effects of ultraviolet radiation on skin lacking melanin. She was adamant. “I’ll get a tan and win my man,” bravely, she proclaimed her mantra.

Just in the nick of time, a wandering fit of conscience finally caught up with the odious Ronald. He expressed his contrition when he told his love-to-be, “Don’t fry for me, Argent Tina!”

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