Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Little Red Riding Hood

Category: Puns, Rated G, Shaggy Puppy

The Little Red Riding Hood premise can lead to several different stories. This one is by Cynthia MacGregor.


Little Red Riding Hood got to her grandmother’s house and didn’t recognize the wolf in Grandma’s clothing, but she knew something was different.

“Why, Grandmother, what big eyes you have,” said Little Red.

“They appear larger because I had an eyelid tuck at a marvelous plastic surgeon on Rodeo Drive,” said the wolf in Grandma’s clothing.

And Little Red believed him because it made perfect sense.

“Why, grandmother, what big ears you have,” said Little Red.

“They appear larger because I had my hair done by this marvelous new stylist on Fifth Avenue and he gave me an uplift style to match my new breast implants,” said the wolf in Grandma’s clothing.

And Little Red believed him because it made perfect sense.

“Why, grandmother, what big teeth you have,” said Little Red.

“They’re new implants,” said the wolf in Grandma’s clothing, “and they serve me well when I’m eating the snacks at the bar during Happy Hour.”

And Little Red went running out of the house crying, “Wolf! Wolf! Wolf!” because she knew that Grandma was always in the restaurant eating the Earlybird Special at four o’clock like any retiree, but the bars at Happy Hour are always full of wolfs.

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