Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Life Saving in Texas

Category: Rated PG-13

This one took a long, tortuous pathway to get to me. It could as well be an Aggie joke. There are several versions of this pun. This probably is the rudest one.


Two Texans were seated at the end of a bar when a young lady seated a few stools up began to choke on a piece of hamburger. She was turning blue and obviously in serious respiratory distress.

One Texan said to the other, “That there gal is having a bad time!” The other agreed and said, “Think we should go help?” “You bet,” said the first.

And with that he ran over and said, “Can you breathe??” She shook her head no. He said, “Can you speak??” She again shook her head no. With that, he pulled up her skirt and licked her smack on the butt. So shocked was the young woman that she coughed up the obstruction and began to breathe, with great relief.

Returning to his friend, the Texan said “Funny how that hind lick maneuver always seems to work.”

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