Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Know Your State Motto

Category: Politically Incorrect

This was sent to me by Charlie Pfister, one of my original pharmacy Bro’s. The original source is unknown.


Can anyone remember when California had a motto on the license plate? We did, at one time. I think New Hampshire may still have, “Live Free or Die.” Here’s another California “motto” among all the rest of the states. Too bad that most of them are too long to put on the license plate.

Alabama:
Hell, Yes, We Have Electricity.

Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can’t Be Wrong!

Arizona:
But It’s A Dry Heat.

Arkansas:
Literacy Ain’t Everything.

California:
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda!

Colorado:
If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother.

Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts,
Only The Kennedy’s Don’t Own It, Yet.

Delaware:
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids.

Georgia:
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.

Hawaii:
Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru
(Death To The Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)

Idaho:
More Than Just Potatoes.
Well, OK, We’re Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois:
Please, Don’t Pronounce the “S”

Indiana:
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa:
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas:
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky:
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana:
We’re Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos,
That’s Just Our Tourism Campaign.

Maine:
We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland:
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts:
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s

Michigan:
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota:
10,000 Lakes…And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi:
Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri:
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana:
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies,
and Very Little Else.

Nebraska:
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada:
Hookers, Poker, and Wayne Newton!

New Hampshire:
Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey:
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto
Right here!

New Mexico:
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
(Dr. Jerry Born assures me that the actual motto is:
Land of the flea
and home of the Plague.)

New York:
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney…

North Carolina:
Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota:
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio:
At Least We’re Not Michigan

Oklahoma:
Like The Play, But No Singing

Oregon:
Spotted Owl…It’s What’s For Dinner

Pennsylvania:
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island:
We’re Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina:
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn’t Actually Surrender, Yet

South Dakota:
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee:
The Edyoocashun State

Texas:
Se Habla Ingles

Utah:
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont:
Ay, Yep

Virginia:
Who Says Government Stiffs
And Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?

Washington:
We have more rain than you do

West Virginia:
One Big Happy Family…Really!

Wisconsin:
Come Cut The Cheese With Us!

Wyoming:
Where Men Are Men…
And The Sheep Are Afraid

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