Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Just the crumbs….

Category: Rated G

This is an original from Lee R. Martin. With the recent re-release of Star Wars, it becomes even more relevant. Kate (Kate M. Kulig) posted a similar version.


A father took his little girl to see Star Wars. He noticed she alternated between excitement and puzzlement. After the movie he asked her what she thought of it. She replied “Well Dad, I liked it a lot, except I couldn’t understand a word that big hairy guy said.”

He laughed and said, “Oh, I know why! That was a Wookie, and that’s just the way the Wookie mumbles!”


This variant was posted by John Barnstead:


Alfred Doolittle, former dustman turned philosopher, had recently abandoned this profession for the more congenial pasttime of making book at one of the more prominent London establishments devoted to that activity. Alas, Mr. Doolittle over-extended himself when taking bets against Sea Biscuit’s grandson — Big Al (as he was known to his customers…) had reckoned too heavily on the bloodline, and neglected to examine the thoroughbred’s limbs for signs of juvenile osteoporosis… It did not take long for the bobbies to come for him when it was discovered (shortly after Sea Biscuit III was put down with four broken legs) that he did not have the wherewithall to cover his obligations.

Mr. D. was philosophical as always before the magistrate: “That’s the way the bookie tumbles!” he said, summing up the sad situation in which he found himself…


And this is another variant from John Barnstead, probably my favorite.


A certain well-known pair of #callahanian sweeties discovered to their considerable embarrassment that they had been consistently omitting the `/’ when sending each other fairly torrid `/msg’s’… After some reflection, however, they were inclined to be philosophical about the little mixup:

“That’s the way the nookie humbles!”

was their assessment of the sad situation in which they found themselves…

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