Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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J’accuse (A Political Tale)

Category: Rated G

Another original offering from Chris Cole.


Once upon a time Peter Cottontail considered running (or should that be “hopping”?) for public office. After all, he was already a quite well-known literary and musical personality. Surely he could parley that fame into the realm of politics.

Peter soon made the usual campaign stops throughout the forrest. He was harrassed at each stop, however, by a scruffy-looking homeless rabbit named Ted.

Ted was a “free spirit”, you might say, and he refused to live in rabbit holes like the other rabbits. When asked why he no longer lived in a “proper hole” like everyone else, the eccentric bunny would just reply, “Harrumph! I gave up THAT hobbit a long time ago!”

Well, at each campaign appearance, Ted continued to harrass poor ol’ Peter unmercifully, accusing him of all sorts of vile deeds. There was not a bit of truth to any of them, of course, but Peter soon fell victim to what has since become the scourge of politicians everywhere. Sufficient doubt was cast upon his character and he eventually lost the confidence of the public. From there it was just an inevitable downward spiral until he finally lost the election itself.

Later on, political analysts and pundits sifting through the rubble of Peter’s failed campaign would conclude that it was derailed as a result of just one thing:

Un-warren Ted Accusations.

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