This is from Kevin Raynek. It was published on the groaners listserv.
St Peter, in a very worried state, called all of his apostles and disciples to an emergency meeting because of the high drug consumption problem all over the world.
After giving it much thought they reached the conclusion that in order to better deal with the problem, they should try the drugs themselves and then decide on the correct way to proceed.
It was, therefore, decided that a commission made up of some of the members return to earth to get the different types of drugs.
Two days later the commissioned disciples begin to return to heaven. St Peter, waiting at the door, lets in the first disciple:
“Who is it?”
“It’s Paul”
St Peter opens the door.
“What did you bring, Paul?”
“Hashish from Morocco”
“Very well, son, come in.”
(knock, knock)
“Who is it?”
“It’s Mark”
St Peter opens the door.
“What did you bring, Mark?”
“Marijuana from Colombia”
“Very well, son, come in.”
(knock, knock)
“Who is it?”
“It’s Matthew”
St Peter opens the door.
“What did you bring, Matthew?”
“Cocaine from Bolivia”
“Very well, son, come in.”
(knock, knock)
“Who is it?”
“It’s John”
St Peter opens the door.
“What did you bring, John?”
“Crack from New York”
“Very well, son, come in.”
(knock, knock)
“Who is it?”
“It’s Luke”
St Peter opens the door.
“What did you bring Luke?”
“Speed from Amsterdam”
“Very well, son, come in.”
(knock, knock)
“Who is it?”
“It’s Judas”
St Peter opens the door.
“What did you bring, Judas?”
“The DEA! Everyone up against the wall!”