This is by Scarlett Herzele, former student, current colleague, always Pun Mistress.

A young man was in love with two women and could not decide which one to wed (alliteration for the sake of alliteration is alliteration all the…). He asked his best friend, a young man who, it just so happened, had been in the same situation, but, had found resolution. (You can see she has taken my commantery to heart — ABC.)

He said, “You can handle it either of two ways — you can go solicit the advice of the old hag, down at the end of the lane, and hope she’s having a good hair day; or, you can toss your fate to the wind (more or less) by tying an arrow to the leg of yon seagull (that’s how people talk in this kind of story). When it inevitably drops (as it will, inevitably) it will land, presumably, facing in some direction. Marry the girl who lives in the direction the arrow points.”

“Jolly good.” said the undecided one. And he did just that!

You can see how an entire life depended on the tern or the shrew.

Chris Cole ruminates:

That brings up an interesting potential dilemma.

Assume, perchance, that the old hag was known for giving bad advice and would have matched yon (!) lad with an awful wife. However suppose also that spurning the hag’s advice would earn him her eternal ire, would it be fair to say that no matter which way the lad chose, he would most surely be shrewd?

Hmm….