Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Impediments

Category: Adult Theme, Shaggy Dogs

This was published on the groaners listserv. The author is not known.


As the blonde was standing by the first tee waiting for her golf lesson from the club’s pro, she watched a foursome in the process of teeing off. The first golfer addressed the ball and swung, hitting it 230 yards straight down the middle of the fairway.

“That was a really good shot,” said the blonde.

“Not bad considering my impediment,” said the golfer.

“What do you mean?

“I have a glass eye,” said the golfer.

“I don’t believe you!”

So he popped out his eye out and showed her.

The next golfer addressed the ball and swung, hitting it 240 yards straight down the middle of the fairway. Again, the blonde exclaimed, “That was a really good shot!”

“Not bad considering my impediment,” said the golfer.

“What’s wrong with you?” said the blonde.

“I have a prosthetic arm,” he replied.

“I don’t believe you, show me,” said the blonde. So he screwed his arm off and showed it to her.

The next golfer addressed the ball and swung, hitting it 250 yards straight down the middle of the fairway. “That was a really good shot,” said the blonde.

“Not bad considering my impediment,” said the golfer.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I have a prosthetic leg.”

“I don’t believe you!”

So that golfer screwed his leg off and showed it to her.

The fourth golfer then addressed his ball, swung, and blasted it 280 yards straight down the middle of the fairway .

“That was a wonderful shot,” said the blonde.

“Not bad considering my impediment,” said the golfer.

“Now what’s wrong with you?” she asked.

“I have an artificial heart,” said the golfer.

“I don’t believe you, show me.”

“Well, I can’t show you out here,” the golfer said. “Come around behind the Pro-Shop.”

As he nor the blonde had not returned after a few minutes, his golf buddies decided to go see what was holding things up. As they turned the corner and went behind the Pro-Shop, sure enough, there was their pal — screwing his heart out.

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