Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


I.C.U.

Category: Rated G, Shaggy Dogs

The author of this very shaggy tale is unknown.


A man was brought in to the hospital intensive care ward, put in a bed, tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted, in a similar condition. Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking, etc.

A couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say:

“Scottish”

The other signaled he had heard, raised his own hand, and said:

“Irish”

This act tired them out so badly it was a week before the first summoned up the strength to say:

“Glasgow”

Again the second replied in a weedy frail voice

“Dublin”

Once more, the strain was too much for them both and they passed out. Days passed before the first man managed to again point to himself and say:

“Jimmy”

Replied the other:

“Paddy”

A few hours later, Jimmy managed to point to himself again and rasp out weakly:

“Cancer”

Paddy responded:

“Sagittarius”

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