Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Horse of a different cholera

Category: Rated G

This is by Ed Nelson and will appear in his book, “Harvey Wallhangers and other Strange Fax”. Thanks, Ed.


Once a beautiful colt was born. It was perfect in every way, except it had a strange blood condition. Its red blood cells had a mind of their own. Let us consider, if you will, one such blood cell.

Once the red blood cell was formed it ran its course through the heart and soon was being carried merrily up the neck, through the brain, back down through the neck, into the heart again and then along the colt’s spine by way of a large, swift blood vessel.

“This is nice!” thought the little red corpuscle as it was carried along. Soon it came to a point in the blood vessel where it branched downward in two veins; one flowing into the right leg and one flowing into the left leg. As circumstance and fate would have it, the flow took the tiny red corpuscle down the left leg.

Now I mentioned that this colt had a blood condition causing the blood cells to have a mind of their own. This particular red blood corpuscle, as it was floating down the left leg started to think that it was not in its best interest to be going down the left leg. It reckoned that it would be better to be swimming down the right leg, and it resolved to make the switch. So the little red corpuscle slowed in the bloodstream and painfully and slowly, it started swimming against the current. It took all of its strength, but the little red corpuscle finally reached the point where it was perched at the exact division between right leg and left leg.

He was very happy to be at this division and joyously let himself be swept down the right leg. The struggle had been worth it, but it had really tired him out and soon he was asleep.

What a terrible mistake that was. In his weakened and tired condition he was easy prey for the hunters of the bloodstream, the big, bad white corpuscles. Soon one saw him and in a wink was on him and gobbled him up, and that was the end of the little red corpuscle.

Now that leads us to make some sense of this little adventure and that is, “Never change streams in mid-horse!” And thats the way it first was said.

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