Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Horse and Buggy

Category: Rated G

This is by Himie Koshevoy who has many other excellent puns in this collection.


The automobile has banned the horse from the highways of the continent, and no more so than from the mighty bridges across the great rivers, for the slow steed would create intolerable tie-ups if he were allowed into those slim bottlenecks.

None of this, of course, prevented a university fraternity deciding to force one of its pledges to drive a horse and buggy across a busy bridge as part of initiation week.

The pledge was duly set on the approach one evening rush hour with carriage and horse and he started across at a brisk canter. The effect of rushing automobiles frightened the animal. He came to a dead halt and refused to go on.

The young driver was equal to the occasion. He unharnessed the horse, turned him around to face back to the starting point, slapped him on the rump, let him go and stepping between the shafts, began pulling the carriage the rest of the way himself.

That was when the bridge patrol arrested him.

“What goes?” he cried, “I know my rights. I know the law says no horses on the bridge but I’m the one who’s doing the pulling!”

“I’m not arresting you for driving a horse across the bridge,” said the patrolman, “I’m giving you a ticket for shay-walking.”

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