Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Highvays and byvays!

Category: Rated G

This one was sent to Brian by Edward Nelson whom we thank.


During WW2 a group of British advance troops were captured by the Germans. Because they were advance troops, the Germans wanted to know what they were up to, so they brought them into Gestapo Headquarters. They questioned these troops, but got no information, so they called in their top interrogator. His philosophy was to first break their spirit, so he devised a particularly heinous method to break their spirit. He told them that you vill shtand shtill und rock back und forth like a grandfather clock, und you vill go, “tick-tock, tick-tock” until you are so tired you vill speak, or you vill drop”.

Soon the soldiers got so tired doing this that they began to confess and tell all. But there was one that was stronger than the rest, and he did not break. The ordeal must have been horrific, for soon he was only rocking in one direction and uttering only one word. He would rock and say “tick, tick, tick, tick”.

The Gestapo officer noticed this and screamed that he was to go, “tick-tock, tick-tock”, but, the soldier was too far gone and would only say, “tick, tick”.

So, the Gestapo officer put a sour smile on his face and said, “In the end, I vill break you. We haf vays to make you tock”.

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