Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Hanna Bull

Category: Rated G

This is by Sean Broderick, worthy son of a dear friend.


Alan: I just returned from a quick trip to Naples, Italy. Joined some friends to visit the town of Cusano Mutri to attend their annual Porcini Mushroom festival, and on the way we stopped to view a bridge allegedly built by Hannibal while transporting his elephants through the region. Now there are issues with the story, not least being that the river can be crossed on foot, and it’s south of Rome (must have been an encircling maneuver), but the locals insist that this is the *Pont du Hannibal. Anyway, while looking at the bridge, I thought of you, indirectly…

So, Hannibal was crossing the mountains of Europe, and his advance on Rome was going well until he reached a dangerous river crossing. For three long and difficult days he attempted to convince the elephants to jump the river at a narrow point, but on the 4th day, in desperation, he ponted.

*Latin for bridge.


Bob Levi responded that Hannibal should have tried finding some of those open flat-bottom boats with squared ends used in shallow waters and usually propelled by a long pole to transport his elephants across the river. He then could claim to have successfully punted.

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