Half and Half

This is a new shaggy dog story by “Jon Warren” .

There was once a mean old magician who lived next door to his two beautiful assistants. He mistreated them terribly, but they were afraid of him and his magic tricks and were too scared to leave. He owed his fame to them, for people would come from miles around to see them on stage, and to see the crowning act of his performance when he would saw the girls in half right before their very eyes. The crowds would cheer and cheer for the girls, but the more they did the more the magician resented them, and the worse his treatment became. He would have rid himself of them, but he knew they were the only reason his show remained popular.

One night as he locked the girls away in their house he failed to latch the bolt fully, and left the door unlocked. The girls had been waiting for just this opportunity. They crept out of their house, across the yard, out the gate, down the path, and into his yard. They tip-toed across the yard and waited under his bedroom window until they heard the sound of snoring. They crept in through the door, went to his magicians’ trunk and removed the saw that he used on stage. They snuck into his room, and standing one either side of his bed, sawed him clean in two with his very own saw.

The moral of the story?

If you live by the sawed, you will die by the sawed.

Lowrie Beacham replied in response to this story, “What a sawdid tale.”

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