Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Hair Restorer

Category: Puns, Rated G

This is from Ralph D. Jeffords who says, ” Here’s another original for you that I did several years ago and almost forgot about.”


Bubba had been losing his hair gradually over the years and unlike some black men who were proud of the “eight-ball” look, he was quite embarrassed about his shiny, black pate. One day he was talking about this with his friend Vincent, who remarked, “You know, man. My crazy brother is working on a hair restorer. When I see him next, I’ll ask him to send you some of his stuff.”

So, Vincent went to his brother’s lab and asked how the hair grower was coming along. The brother replied, “I’m just ready to start marketing it. See, here are the labels.” The labels said “Phee 54, Fantastic Hair Tonic and Restorer.”

So, Vincent remarked, “Could you send some of that to my friend Bubba? He would really like to try it.”

“No problem. I’ll mail him some today.”

So, a couple of days later Bubba checked his mail and here was this package. He opened it up, as his friend Leroy looked on, who asked “What’s that you got in that package today, Bubba?”

Bubba replied, “It’s a new hair growing fo’mula: Phee fi’ fo’ from Ishmael, the bro’ of Vinny Leish, man!”

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