Groaners Featuring Birds

This pun cascade appeared on PUNY a couple of yeas ago.

A guy bought a pair of parrots and decided to go into the parrot breeding business. He didn’t think much of the fact that both birds were named Polly, but unfortunately both birds were actually female. Thus his plans for parrot breeding hit a snag until he got the idea of cloning them. After many months of work he was eventually able to produce a half dozen fertilized eggs. When they hatched, three of them were normal healthy females, but the other three were male, and the little guys had very malformed wings and legs. Little wonder that they say, “Polly chicks makes strange bred fellows.”


A bird breeder, who dealt with only species that are normally wild, not parrots, canaries, or parakeets, had a difficult life, getting up early to feed all his charges, never taking a vacation, working hard, and yet he enjoyed his life. When the local newspaper interviewed him for a feature story, they asked him if he was sorry about the life he’d chosen for himself. His reply? “I have no egrets.”

Cynthia MacGregor

A stork relaxing at a Kareoke Bar between deliveries crooned an old Sinatra standard:

“Egrets, I’ve had a few…. but thru it all had so many fowl and did it MY WAY!”

Ken Pinkham

The brilliantly colored, large-billed bird was very elusive. No matter how hard the hunter tried, the bird got away. Over and over the hunter set traps that the bird eluded. Finally the bird set a trap for the hunter…and he fell for it. As he realized he’d become the hunted instead of the hunter, the man yelled, “What the hell…!” And the bird laughed, thinking, *Toucan play at that game.*

Cynthia MacGregor

At the zoo they have an exotic bird breeding program where the eggs are put into an incubator for hatching. Somehow there was some confusion and a swan’s egg got labeled as a toucan egg and vice-versa. Even after the new chicks had hatched out nobody seemed to notice the difference and both chicks were integrated into the wrong bird populations. This proves the old adage, “Toucan live as cheep as swan.”

GARY HALLOCK (With a tip of the hat to George McClughan)

They have some new bird-flavored Life Savers they’re test marketing now. If they sell well, they’ll go into general distribution but right now they’re simply ex-sparrow-mints.

Cynthia MacGregor

A wise old bespectacled bird reading all the these bird groaners fell off its perch. Yup ! *Owl fall down !!*


Did you know some birds play soccer? Yep, Pelican really kick the ball.

Cynthia MacGregor

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