Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive

Grandma and the Lottery

Category: Puns, Rated G

This was posted on BWJokes2.

Grandma was nearly ninety years of age when she won $1,000,000 in the lottery. Her family were extremely worried about her heart and feared that news of her large win would come as too much of a shock for her.

“I think we’d better call in the doctor to tell her the news,” suggested the eldest son.

The doctor soon arrived and the situation was explained to him.

“Now, you don’t have to worry about anything,” said the doctor. “I am fully trained in such delicate matters and I feel sure I can break this news to her gently. I assure you, there is absolutely no need for you to fear for her health. Everything will be quite safe, if left to me.”

The doctor went in to see the old lady and gradually brought the conversation around to the lottery.

“Tell me,” said the doctor, “what would you do if you had a large win in the lottery, say one million dollars?”

“Why,” replied the old lady, “I’d give half of it to you, of course.”

The doctor fell down dead with shock.

One ResponseLeave one →

  1. Chris Cole

     /  May 13, 2011

    Well, she couldn’t exactly just sit there and let a sleeping doc lie, so she naturally called on someone to come and de-fib him, at which point he was no longer lying, but now truthfully conscious. In light of today’s litigeous culture, it was also prudent that the Doc came to see the old lady instead of having her report to his office at the local shopping center, thereby avoiding any potential accusations of mall-practice.

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