Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Goodbye

Category: Rated G

A tribute to the late Milton Berle by Stan Kegel.


Milton Berle, affectionately known as “Uncle Miltie”, was television’s first superstar. Every Tuesday night for twenty years starting in 1948, all commerce would come to a halt on Tuesday nights as everyone found a television set where the family could watch the Texaco Star Theater.

But Uncle Miltie had a gambling problem, and in the forties no one had conceived of Gamblers Anonymous for compulsive gamblers. Every week, during rehearsals Berle would play gin rummy between takes and he would always win big. By the time the show aired, he usually had won as much as his weekly salary blitzing his producer.

But after the show, they would play craps where his luck was always bad, and by the end of the evening, he would have lost everything he had won during the week. Everyone connected with the show knew that Uncle Miltie could certainly handle his gin, but invariably, Milton’s pair of dice lost.

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