This was posted by Dave Henry on the groaners listserv. The author is unknown.

OBITUARY — RENOWN SCIENTIST, 58, DIES

ATHOL, WY (DPI) — A freak accident at an experimental geothermal power plant claimed the life of noted electro-nutritionist Dr. Otto Mymynd. Mymynd earned the scorn of his colleges in his early years when he called them myopic sycophants. He later gained their flattery with such inventions as the infrared flashlight, the burpless cucumber, methane deficient cabbage and the environmentally safe tofu laser.

The accident was witnessed by his voluptuous 23-year-old full-time research aide and part-time paramour, Lily Pond. While working on a method to re-hydrate four week old bakery products, he apparently became distracted when Miss Pond uncrossed her legs. At that moment he tripped over his own feet and plunged headlong into the boiling lava. He was instantly vaporized. Said Miss Pond, “Golly, when he finds out what’s happened, he’s going to be pretty steamed. I think I speak for the entire scientific community when I say he will be mist.”