Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Ga, Ga over this one

Category: Rated G

Dan Dutcher wrote this version for Stan Kegel. Older versions exist. It is all over the internet, and I found a copy on the Georgia Tech Alumni site under the title “World’s Worst Joke”. That, it is not.


In conjunction with his retaliation against a coup attempt by a number of rebellious nobles, King George I had a huge mahogany torture rack constructed, intending to utilize it in punishing the leaders of an uprising. His advisors solved the problem of transporting the rack to the upcoming battle site, a precipice overlooking the valley containing the enemy encampment, by renting forty pachyderms and hiring an African engineer with reputed expertise in harnessing the huge beasts for productive labor.

Unfortunately, shortly after their arrival at the scene, the elephants startled by nearby battle cries, stampeded, carrying the ramp with the African on it, tumbling down the hill, rolling over the opposition virtually destroying it. One of the survivors painfully arose, crying out, “What in creation was that?”

An anguished companion stammered, “I’m not sure, but it looked like . . . a rambling rack from George’s attack and an elephant engineer.

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