Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

The Web's Original Shaggy Dog Story Archive


Category: Original Feghoots, Rated G

The Feghoot series is by Reginald Bretnor writing under the pseudonym of Grendel Briarton.

FEGHOOT XXXII The Feghoot series is by Reginald Bretnor writing under the pseudonym of Grendel Briarton.

In 3285, Ferdinand Feghoot solved the famous riddle of the graffiti of Amis, the Planet of Ruins.

“Imagine it!” cried his friend, Arch-Archaeologist Kingsley. “Thousands of scholars have tried to elucidate them, all in vain! Even I have only been able to identify the components. That stylized female figure clearly portrays the legendary Abigail Penfold, a woman from Kent in the old Earth country of England. She is said to have made a vast fortune by preserving unwanted seabirds in tins and shipping them out to space settlers, who considered them luxuries. Even today, her name is a by-word, like Hot-Dog Harry’s on Earth. But it’s the upper half of the thing that’s driving me mad! Look! There are three lions, not heraldic at all, but just sitting there smugly, as serene as you please. Feghoot, what have they to do with the old girl and her tins?”

Feghoot regarded the drawings for nearly a minute. “I believe,” he declared, “that these refer to an archaic English poem.” The Arch-Archaeologist smiled condescendingly.

“I can’t document it,” said Ferdinand Feghoot. “I’m afraid you’ll have to accept it for what my word’s worth. But it’s really quite simple. . . Those are lions, composed, above Tinned-Tern Abby.” (Ascribed to Martin Graetz)

(Copyright © 1960 by Mercury Press. First published in THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY & SCIENCE FICTION, October 1960.)

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  • Welcome to the new home of Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots. At least 3057 horrible puns, shaggy dogs, groaners, and feghoots. And a couple of good ones.

    In Defense of Shaggy Dog Stories

    From Whence the Nomenclature Shaggy Dog

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