Tarzan's Tripes Forever, and Other Feghoots

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Feghoot XXX

Category: Original Feghoots

The Feghoot series is by Reginald Bretnor writing under the pseudonym of Grendel Briarton.


It was Ferdinand Feghoot who saved one of Civilization’s noblest works of piety and learning, the great Summa Theologica of St. Thomas Aquinas, for posterity.

In 4282, the Cardinal-Prefect of Alternate Time Tracks told him that young Thomas, instead of studying hard, was succumbing to an earthly temptation, a seemingly innocent one smuggled to him by a time-travelling Occamist agent from the 34th Century.

Immediately, Feghoot went back to 1541 and the castle of San Giovanni, where the youth was being kept prisoner by misguided relatives. In the guise of an abbot, he gained admittance, and found Thomas luxuriating in a lovely, hot bubble-bath, which two guards kept replenishing.

“My son,” he exclaimed, “do you not know that a holy hermit has prophesied a great future for you? What are you doing?”

“I’m simply wallowing in this heavenly bath,” sighed the lad. “Father, it’s wonderful. I could lie here forever.”

Then Ferdinand Feghoot drew himself up to his full height and pronounced the words which at once set things straight. “You must not!” he cried out in an awful voice. “Remember, Thomas Aquinas … one’s wallow does not make a Summa!”


(Copyright © 1960 by Mercury Press. First published in THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY & SCIENCE FICTION.)

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